are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes
with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks
That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.
i made a thing
You made a very good thing
you did the best thing
*points to bedroom* This is where we frick frack.
*points to kitchen* This is where we snick snack.
*points to living room* This is where we kick back.
*points to bathroom* This is where we shit shat.
*points to couch* This is where we chit chat.
*points to computer* This is where we click clack.
*points to shelf* This is where weknick knack.
*points to sex dungeon* This is where we paddy-whack.
What a truly awful website this is
My roommate and I are really sick and we look like shit, but we were hungry so we ordered pizza.
But we didn’t want anyone to see us, so we asked them over the phone if we can leave the money on the door and they can just drop off the pizza.
The guy said sure.
So we decided to leave a nice little note
and we hung it above the door bell. I hope they like it!
I can’t scroll past this without feeling guilty.
what do you do when you don’t have one? …then you look in the mirror and tell yourself how beautiful you are.
All of my followers are my best friendsall my followers + my number one best friend Ellie!
all of my friends are so adorable tho
Yes she is! She is also adorable as hell!